-
"What are you, the chancellor of pants now?"
–Tights-wearing friend -
A Conversation Between A Friend And Her Coworker
- Mutual Friend: Want some caramel popcorn?
- Friend: Oh no thanks, I don't like caramel.
- Mutual Friend: I could lick the caramel off for you…
- Friend: Oh wow saliva popcorn! That's so much better.
-
"Yep. I stared at it with intent. I was focused. That is anatomically correct. Lynn can’t say, ‘You just schlopped on the penis’."
–Art Student -
"They have prisons in Norway? I thought there were just big fields with some huts and shit."
–Friend -
"(In reference to handheld vacuums) $219 for 6 minutes of suction. I can get more usage out of Carl for that. -Yep. Constant suction without interruption."
–Two coworkers bantering about expensive vacuums -
"This is wrong. I’m not sure how yet."
–Coworker -
"Once you leave your house, you’re subject to people."
–Coworker -
"I have selective heeheehearing!"
–Friend with selective hearing -
"You’re boring. Why do I clean your poo?"
–Friend Referring To Her Cat -
"Civilizations would crumble if I was this awesome all the time."
–Coworker that made a valid point in a discussion
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